(with apologies to R&H)

nose drops on biscuits and CGI melons
hot gramps in boot camps with wisecracking felons
cheap metal houseflies with bacofoil wings
these are a few of my fabulous things

brown paper kittens with wallpaper mittens
sneakers that creak on the feet of clinicians
parboiling gargoyles in tar from the springs
these are a few of my fabulous things

when the shark bites
when my pee stings
when I’m feeling rad
I simply remember my fabulous things
and then I don’t feel so bad