Mum’s friend Gladys
had this
realistic model baby
she loved like crazy
pushing it everywhere in a pram
not giving a damn
what anyone else thought
when she sat on a bench with the milk she’d bought
rubbing the baby on the back to wind her
supporting her chin between thumb and finger
dandling her on arthritic knees
chatting away happily
nodding warm and motherly hellos
to the creeped-out parents and PCSOs

Gladys’ son Fred
bought her the baby she said
for one HECK of a lot of money
from an online site for prospective mummies
exactly why, she didn’t say
maybe it was easier for him that way
easier than being the baby that grew up
into the usual, realistic, adult-sized screw up