it must be tough being God
I can’t think of a less attractive job
it couldn’t be worse
having to be everywhere in the universe
from a learner driver reversing
and cursing
to a nervous nurse
rehearsing
what she plans to say
when she comes up before the board that day
from a butcher slicing his fingers with the salami
to a village getting flattened by a tsunami
the demands are endless
all the people pretty much defenceless
so much of it senseless

or is it?

I don’t know – He doesn’t do many personal visits

but the thing that makes it all so exquisite
when you pray, God doesn’t go Oh Jesus Christ NOW what is It?
because the guy’s complicit
He KNEW those planes were headed for Manhattan
He KNEW when the towers went up they were gonna get flattened
but he’s contractually obliged
to let the planes fly
and not guide
them to a better place
even though his superpowers are supposedly ace
and he could’ve easily done it and not lost face

so in case
you’re wondering
why He keeps blundering
klutzing around the place, flooding and thundering
leaving people in the lurch
to the point you wonder why they go to church
it’s because (apparently) He gave them Free Will
which is fine until
you find this God of Love
is more than happy to shove
any who die and come to dwell
with Him and his high-end clientele
heads down heels up straight to Hell
okay great thanks
you just got pranked
Free Will definitely shooting blanks

But God moves in a mysterious way, His wonders to perform
from carcinomas to slugs on the lawn
maybe that’s why He’s permanently distracted
and so damned hard to be personally contacted
maybe he needs more angels on the desk
because I have to say His PR’s grotesque
it’s hard to be desperate, patient AND virtuous
when all you get is ‘please hold – your prayer is important to us’