Build your own Baronet

Build your own Baronet
with this tried & trusted
22 carat, jewel-encrusted
Elementary Gentry set:


One pot of family privilege
rendered and refined
from the upper caste mine
on the outskirts of the village

One bolt of royal bluster
woven and dyed
in our holdings worldwide
to the most luminous lustre

Five buttons from an offshore fund
as clean as possible
invisible, non-taxable
presented on a Kevlar cummerbund

One certificate of authenticity
handwritten on vellum
rapere pauperem
sealed with a Royal Crest of Complicity

One empty, elite skin

One plastic castle to put it all in

Flattery not included

Legal Disclaimer:
This toy is strictly play apparatus
It does NOT confer any social status


a rotten truth

these are the guys / that wear the ties
the greys and blues / and shiny shoes
that follow the rules / of the public schools
to swell the ranks / of the boards and the banks
the traders’ hubs / and members’ clubs
and shake the hands / and share the lands
and sign the deeds / and pedigrees
of title & worth / blessed at birth
fed, protected / securely connected
to rich placentas / in city centres

these are the rest / that do their best
that follow the norms / in uniforms
of jeans and boots / and cut-price suits
passed through the system / so fast you missed ‘em
the makers and breakers / the tryers and takers
the leavers & schemers / the weekend dreamers
who feel the bite / when margins are tight
confined, dependent / resigned, redundant
the first to burn / when they finally learn
their messiah was deaf / and it’s prophet with an F