Form an orderly queue for the exit / what d’ya mean you didn’t expect it? / Johnson, Covid, Climate Change, Brexit? / The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse / are War, Famine, Plague & Politics / so screw the loony climatologists / communist apologists / what we need are more Bullingdon boys on Eton internships / for an extended Wall Game with heat domes and oil slicks / wack job boys’ club macroeconomics / sleepy BP PR optics / flawed but plausible diagnostics / bozo billionaires in cock-shaped rockets / burning through the troposphere and the cash in our pockets / while gorgeous, glittering TikTok armies / upload selfies from poolside parties / and the world gets tossed by tornadoes and tsunamis / and landslides dice the cities like salami / and you settle down with an iPhone and a pizza / to watch Netflix docs on endangered creatures / cooking to death on distant beaches / and your epiphany’s bigger than a grand mal seizure / when you realise all these glorious leaders / have been lining you up for the same procedure