Vampires have been around
since late last night
they sleep underground
and when the moon’s just right
they spring from their coffins and nip out for a bite

Vampires leave no reflection
are allergic to garlic
are prone to blood borne infections
and many are alcoholic
(but their love of red wine is purely symbolic)

Vampires can be neutralised by sunlight
blessed water, sacramental wafers
a sexton’s spade is also good in a fight
but if you really want to enrage their natures
spray them with a can of holy vapours

Vampires are fashionable
they love to look smart
although capes can be questionable
it gets them in the part
and denim to them is like a stake through the heart