I could just see
Stanley
off in the distance
tugging on grass
with the persistence
of a hungry cow or calf

why, I don’t know
maybe he just chose
to get some roughage
to stimulate retches
(or fancied a rummage
in the grasses and sedges)

he ignored my whistle
so I thought this’ll
definitely need
a different tack
so took out the lead
and walked straight back

I’m not embellishing
when I say he was relishing
every last blade
in that clump
like he was somewhat afraid
he wouldn’t eat in a month

why he does this I don’t know
so I Googled it when I got home
it could be PICA
which sounds close enough
it’s when you get hyper
and eat weird stuff

I clipped the lead on snappily
but Stanley came happily
like a sated alligator
or an unrepentant diner
led off by the waiter
for something really minor

the trouble with grass is
when the thing passes
and you feel insane
dismay without measure
birthing a skein
like a vet with a heifer