I can’t wait to tell you all about
the amazing thing I just found out
(quite accidentally)
Stanley isn’t Stanley
not a rescue lurcher but apparently
a traveller from the pet planet Wetnosa
and the reason he spends so much time on the sofa
is he’s busy transmitting secret data
to the bassets and beagles back home in the crater
the great big basket operations centre
topped by a quivering, bone-shaped antenna
receiving all the growls and barks
and collating them into complex charts
looked over by a chihuahua, completely hairless
who acts intrigued but really couldn’t care less