it was wet
absolutely the wettest yet
if there’s been a wetter day
I have to say
I forget
but after a lot of toing and froing
about whether or not we’d be going
walking, or maybe rowing
because the streets were overflowing
with water
and maybe we oughta
be staying indoors
with our hands and our paws
draped over the couch
waiting till the sun came out
the sensible choice without a doubt

hell no
we decided to go
and obviously
when I say ‘we’
I mean ‘me’

because Stanley
was nonplussed
looking at me with level disgust
as I optimistically thrust
the lead in his direction
(dropping ten points in his general affection)

so…WAS it wet?
buoy – you bet

in Italiano
era bagnato
in French you might say
c’était mouillé
either way
the result’s the same:
a pet gets wet and I’m to blame

however
despite the weather
the biblical cataracts
kids were out playing a football match
wildly splashing down then up
happy as crabs in the Crustacean Cup
Stanley grimaced
as dog was his witness
the dumbest thing
he’d ever witnessed

he was equally aghast
when we passed
a woman and her dachshund
in matching macs und
boots
kitted out for tough pursuits
survivalists out on an expedition
all the gear for any condition

Stanley
stared at me
with a look
he took
from the mean look book
(Stanley should know; he’s a connoisseur)
it meant: ‘And you drag me out in just my fur’