I’m working on a mirthless laugh
for reading things in the Telegraph
or listening to Boris on radio stations
making speeches at the United Nations
something hammer horror-a-ree
the only proper response to his oratory

I’m practicing a bitter kinda chuckle
for hearing how the country buckles
beneath the weight of this crappy Brexit
a flat kinda snicker that somehow reflects it
(I think the weight of all this sovereignty
is really starting to do bad things to me)

I’m busy rehearsing a scary guffaw
for pieces about how they’re helping the poor
I’ll crease like Gary Oldman as Dracula
with a blood-crazed grin and some gothic vernacular
(or maybe I’ll go for the next best thing
a Tony Hopkins chortle as Professor Van Helsing)