The dark garden at Number 10. In the middle, by a table of wine and cheese, a boiling cauldron.
Thunder.
Enter the three Tories

First Tory
Thrice the brinded Gray hath mew’d.

Second Tory
Thrice and once the Murdoch whined.

Third Tory
Carrie cries “‘Tis time, ’tis time.”

First Tory
Round about the cauldron go;
In the poison’d headlines throw
Cummings, that under cold stone
Days and nights has thirty-one
Swelter’d venom sleeping got,
Boil thou first i’ the charmed pot.

All
Double, double, Tory trouble;
Starmer burn, and cauldron bubble.

Second Tory
Fillet of a Sunak snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of Gove and toe of Mogg,
Wool of Schapps and tongue of Raab
Javid’s fork and Pritti’s sting,
Dorries’ leg and Kwarteng’s wing,
For a cabinet of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

All
Double, double, Tory trouble;
Starmer burn, and cauldron bubble.

Third Tory
Scale of Coffey, tooth of Truss
350 million from the side of a bus
And from the ravin’d Peppa Pig Park
The Crest of Eton digg’d i’ the dark,
WhatsApp texts from profiteers
Gall of Farage, Stratton’s tears
Silver’d in the media clips
Nose of Dowden, Arcuri’s lips
Brexit signed with fingers cross’d
Ditch-deliver’d by Lord Frost
Make the gruel at any cost
Add thereto add some red wall rebellion
And half a well-chopped Spanish onion.

All
Double, double, Tory trouble;
Starmer burn, and cauldron bubble.

Second Tory
Cool it with a tycoon’s blood,
Then the charm is firm and good.