superman and his superzimmer
flies low & slowly home for dinner
hauls up in front of the reception mirror
for a long and inquiring superlook
hangs his cape on a superhook
picks up a glossy superhero book
shuffles into the lounge to read it
says yes to soup but doesn’t need it

batman kicks with his bat-slippered feet
through competition for the best lounge seat
in the friday night fish n’chip all you can eat
swipes the joker with the jibber jabber
snatches the ketchup with his bat grabber
grunts at the give in his bat bladder
deploys his cloak for gaze protection
raises a gauntlet for carer detection

wonder woman spins in the aquasize pool
struggling to keep her poise and her cool
with a pink flamingo buoyancy tool
she’s getting way too long in the tooth
for the encouraging shit of the poolside youth
wonders where they hid her lasso of truth
starts to feel annoyed, fatigued
plans another letter to the justice league

TIME and another box set passes / and you’re still approximately where your cushioned arse is / planted on the sofa with a mug of tea & TV glasses / soupy beard and droopy moustaches / and the earth drifts on through the milky way / in its timeless, aimless universal ballet / and night becomes aeon / and aeon millennium / and you’re only on season 5 of Mad Men / and the oceans rise up / and the sediment piles up / till you end up flat compacted / and it’s a million years till you’re finally extracted / by some neat geologist called Niles McGrammer / who whacks out your fossil with a pointy hammer / dusts off the dust and stammers / I can’t believe how well it’s come out! / my proudest moment without a doubt / the level of detail is quite phenomenal / the remote control on the swollen abdominal… / and you wind up an exhibit in the city museum / laid out with the others for the people to see ‘em / who read all about your vacant look / in the pages of their glossy book / the strange evolution of streaming eye / and why they called you: sofalanthropus claytonii

it was just parking up / outside the tattoo shop / in a sick looking saucer with a shiny soft-top
I said hi / thanks for spinning by / it said that’s alright / what else am I gonna do tonight
I said so wha’d’ya know? / it shrugged and said things come they go / I said so…
it said hey – I come in peace / I creased / I said you coulda thoughta something more original at least / it locked the saucer door / winked and said sure / but I didn’t wanna be too obscure
I said so how’re ya doin / it said okay but there’s trouble brewing / so what’s new
I said / yeah but this shits way over in the red / it said / scratching one of its heads
so – this is some kinda warning / I said, yawning / as we both went to smoke under the tattoo shop awning

what the hell am I supposed to do about it / as far as influence goes I’m totally without it
we all got a part to play / haven’t we – hey? / don’t be the kinda guy who gets in his own way
I said nice / but you didn’t come like a zillion miles for hokey advice
you’re right it said / blowing smoke rings over its heads / let’s put this warning shit to bed
listen to me / your world’s on a downward trajectory / carry on like this and you’ll soon be history
I said so what d’ya want? / that I make with the international detente?
Greta Toony tried and she couldn’t do it / if a 13 year old Swede can’t how am I supposed to do it?

okay said the alien apologies & such / it’s like : straws, clutch / you can tell I don’t get out that much
it’s a crying shame though / your species had a way to go / but you reach the stage where it’s like helloooo / so…
it nodded towards the tattoo parlour / lifted a tentacle, flipped up its armour
I was like – thinking of getting a tat of your planet? / no problem I said – crawl right in and ask for Janet